Black tshirts

I’m exhausted. Being a woman in this country is exhausting. I came home tonight to hear that the body of a young girl who went to primary school with my brother was found in a barrel. Processing that information took more than a few minutes. Processing that yet another woman lost her life and trying to come to grips with how viciously her life was taken and how terrifying her last few moments on earth must have been fatigues me.

Feb 6, 2017. A day slated for women and men alike to wear a black tshirt to show solidarity for the ‘End violence against women and children campaign"

Feb 5, 2017. A lovely evening spent discussing the choice to wear said black tshirt. In short, a night spent reiterating the fact that wearing a neatly stitched piece of black cloth would not end violence against women. Sensational nightly entertainment featuring Jamaica’s most brilliant minds coming to earth shattering conclusions. Phenomenal.

In addition to that level of reasoning we also saw quite a few people comparing this kind violence against women campaign with the Breast cancer initiative. How?
 
It is noticeably easier to mobilize and rally forces for causes such as breast cancer, lung cancer, etc. Why? Nobody denies that cancer exists. Nobody downplays the severity of cancer. No one has ever looked at a breast cancer survivor and asked “What did you do to get cancer?” or pose any other question that implies that this person is somehow guilty for his/her situation. Even with cases of lung cancer which tend to be caused by toxic lifestyle choices, people exercise a level of sympathy. People empathize almost immediately with cancer victims. There’s no need to bring up statistics to prove the urgency of the situation or to gain sympathy, empathy or solidarity. Yes, of course, we can definitely do more to sensitize our society about cancer, but people take the ‘c’ word seriously and are more open to trying to tackle the problem because they actually perceive it as a problem. Conversely, a lot of people don’t take women’s issues that seriously. Herein lies the difference.
 
Women, on social medial, on the radio, in classrooms and under trees on university campuses and via pretty much every platform available, talk about their experiences with catcalling, life in leggings, sexual harassment and the other colourful elements of the wide spectrum of abuse. Why would we even need to convince anybody that this campaign is necessary?

Alas, this is Jamaica- land of wood, water and rape culture. How do we inject funds into a problem that most people are aware of but don’t take seriously? Yes, we are aware that women are being raped, but what else do we know? Do we know what behaviours lead to these incidents of rape?  Do we know how to assist these women? Do all of these women know where to find help?
 
This is where awareness comes in. We’ve conceded that there needs to be action beyond wearing a black shirt but the jeers from the naysayers persist, “what is wearing black going to do?”

What is wearing black going to do? Understand that a campaign to end gender based violence is different from a campaign about sickle sell or cancer. This doesn’t just call for a bank account where we can contribute funds or help donate to a hospital. This transcends that. This issue is a lot more intangible than we think it is. How do we do something that convinces men to stop raping women? How do we do something to convince people that when women share their horror stories, they are sharing lived daily experiences? How do we get them to take our realities and our safety seriously?

The truth is, efforts to remedy this issue and others related to it in Jamaica have been made. There are actions that have backed up the words, not just those that were heard today, but those words that have been said by advocates for women’s rights in this country for decades. There are places of safety for women in Jamaica, there are schools for pregnant teens, but so many people are not aware of these places and even if they are, Jamaican society does not encourage women to engage with these platforms.

How do we fix this? Awareness.
The problem is that talking about these things is almost taboo in Jamaica. We have been trying for years to not only ignore the elephant in the room, but also sweep it under the carpet to appease the church, the prudish little ladies who fan themselves at Sunday services and the egos of men which are so easily bruised when the wrongdoing of any man is mentioned. We need these topics to be broached. We need all girls high schools to talk about uncomfortable issues with our girls. We need our young men to be talking about how the little things they do and the little behaviors that they condone around their friends or the jokes they make contribute to rape culture. We need people to know that there is more to being guilty than actually holding someone down and forcing ourselves unto them. We are guilty when we know of big men having sex with underage girls and say nothing. Our hands are bloodied when we automatically ask or think “Well what did this girl do to have invited rape?”, “What she should have done better?”, “How she should have avoided that particular situation?” and my personal favourite, “What was she wearing?”
It is important to understand that different issues are resolved in different ways. Yes, we need money for violence against women. But if people don’t believe in the cause why would they donate? What we need more than ever is for Jamaicans to be more aware of the far reaching implications of actions that most of us deem to be innocuous. We need people to be more aware of healthy and consensual sexual practices. How do people fight against something they don’t even understand is harmful? Yes, we need more women centers, but if women don’t even realize that they’re in abusive relationships because there is no sign of physical abuse, who’s going to go? If women are afraid to leave relationships because they live in a society that condemns divorce more than it denounces rape, which women will seek these services? If women are still being stigmatized and ridiculed for going to these shelters, what’s the point of erecting and funding them? If girls who fall pregnant due to rape or unprotected sex are ostracized instead of supported, who will attend the institutions we have put in place to assist them? If we’re still hush hush about mental health, how do we diagnose PTSD and try to treat it? How do we teach men and make them aware that they are healthy ways to deal with rejection and abandonment? How do we even realize that there are pyschos walking around if Jamaica denies the importance of mental health? What’s the point of people reporting sexual abuse cases if our police force doesn’t respond with the level of urgency that’s required? What’s the point if when I call the police I’m put on hold? What’s the point if when I call a government company I’m transferred to all offices across the country only to find out the one person who might have been able to help me is out of the country? Wah di point? What’s the point of these cases going to court if these big adult men who boast about having degrees and are lawyers and police men have a shamefully limited understanding of rape? How will the system set in place to protect our women work if the very persons who operate it are unaware of these social issues? How is our legal system going to help any woman when the people sitting as jurors are a sample of a society with a shocking majority that cannot even grasp the concepts of statutory and marital rape?

“Awareness is not enough to solve this problem.” You might be right, but it is a huge step and at present, we have been making half assed attempts at crawling.

So are our black shirts doing anything? No. Our black t-shirts aren’t going to literally intervene the next time a woman is being sexually assaulted. They’re not going to interpret her “no” and her screams and her pleas of help and beg this rapist or that taxi man or that scorned ex boyfriend for mercy. Nevertheless, at the end of today, I’ve had this conversation with at least 5 people and another person in a black shirt might have had it with another 3. Another person, another 3. Making somebody aware about something as simple as the Stay Alert app is important. Awareness is important. Let’s not undermine it or take for granted that there are persons in this country who are willfully ignorant and proudly “strong and wrong” about a long list of Jamaica’s vices. A woman or child who is a victim of any form of gender based violence who sees a multitude of people walk around in Jamaica’s hot sun in a black shirt for even one day can mean something. Please, wear your black shirt if you want to or not, that’s up to you. But do not shit on our efforts, however small they may seem to you, especially if you are doing nothing else to help the cause.

Sincerely,
A woman in a black shirt,
Vanessa